are you still at the devil's house?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
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