Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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