Don't you send me to vm
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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