it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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