and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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