How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
