I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
