Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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