its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
