Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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