i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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