She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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