:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
