his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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