You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
