Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
