p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
birth control should be required to get into college
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize