the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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