I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Omg I joined a choir last night...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
