i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
