so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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