I am midnight drunk by noon
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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