you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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