Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
