She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
