And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
