didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize