I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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