She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
