can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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