The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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