perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize