I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
