Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
