walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I looked at my own cervix.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
