I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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