Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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