You just made me feel so damn special
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
