Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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