so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
