When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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