I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
