I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
