i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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