great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
