I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize