Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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