If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
