Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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