He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
