sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
