Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Mom said you looked used
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
