When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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