You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
