but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
