So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
