If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
