Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
