I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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