Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
